6 posts tagged “emo-moment”

This time, I'm not joking. I know it sounds childish, but I'm beginning to feel that I am invisible or something.

I've mentioned this, laughingly with my friends, about how our teachers seem to ignore us constantly (One in particular just seems to focus on ignoring me completely). However, it's the same story in my household.

Like my mother, for instance. She seems to have no trouble at all at remembering small things for the homestay students, my older brother and my dad, but she almost always forgets about me.

Basically, things go like this:

Mother: So, there's four people here, right? *Counts everyone but me* Yes, there's four here.
Me: Um... You forgot about me. Again.
Mother: Oh! Right. Sure.

Before my birthday...

Mother: So, Christine, you're turning 14 this year, right?
Me: Actually, I'm 15.
Mother: Right, right. It's in May, right?
Me: March.

I am beginning to feel very.... out of place. As if I don't belong in this family.

I mean, everyone here except me enjoys watching Korean comedies and such. Because I don't understand most of their jokes unless its slapstick or something, I don't watch it. It's not because the shows are stupid, it's only because of the lack of comprehension.

My brother has a distinct advantage in this because he came here when he was 7. I was only 4, and didn't even begin pre-school at the time. The homestay students obviously understand those shows, since they probably watched it before they even came here.

My brother has also developed a huge interest in Korean music. I'm still only interested in Japanese ones, and let's just say my folks here ain't fond of the music.

I only just learned about my mother's past less than a week ago, and it looked like my brother already knew about it. What, doesn't she even trust me anymore?

.... Of course, the parents never forget about me if I make a mistake or do something wrong. Shows how much they care, right?

.... Bah, I just want to get that out of my chest. By tomorrow, I would have bottled this up back inside, and put on my "Happy mask". I still have yet to perfect it, since my cynicism and anger always seems to show through.

... And I just realised how depressed I sound. Maybe I really should go to a psychiatrist or counsellor.

In an attempt to make this post sound less emo-like, here's a funny youtube video:

"Despair: it's always darkest just before it goes pitch-black." - Despair.com

ATTENTION EVERYONE:

For those who are interested in working in retail,

Think again.

Working in retail can (read: WILL) result in the employee:

- Losing faith in humanity

- Depressed

- Traumatised

If you still aren't convinced, here is an urbandictionary entry for the word Retail:

One of the shittiest professions...One that causes much depression, psychosis, anger, jealousy, frustration, and anxiety. It is extremely degrading. They never pay people what they are worth; the workers have to deal with a bunch of crap while getting paid peanuts.

That will be all.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

... Seriously. Today was a hectic day.

This morning I skipped breakfast to go to the National Archives, where I (hopefully) managed to gather enough information for my research project.

The study finished at 12, where I was subsequently kicked out of the building since it closed at the time.

I walked back to the shop, where my dad wanted me to work for about two hours.

When I arrived at the shop, I saw my dad running after someone.

Thinking it was some careless customer who forgot their wallet or something (This happens quite often), I went to the counter and watched the shop as usual.

When he returned, however, he brought back one of those huge teddy bears that everyone seems to have a fascination with and touches. And I know that he didn't take it with him when he ran.

Some bitch actually had the gall to steal a teddybear that is about as tall as a seven year old. I am serious.

After that, I had to deal with this idiot wannabe-shoplifter who tried to steal a cellphone when he thought I wasn't looking. And I was staring at him at that point.

When I told him to give me back the phone, he tried to "Explain" that he thought it was a phone.

Riiiiight.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who hates customers. Stupid, idiotic customers.

Dear friends, (And any odd people who see this in passing)

I am typing this will up because tonight I am most likely going to die. Possibly from a stroke thanks to extreme amounts of stress. 

You cannot save me from this inevitable and untimely death, because tonight, my family has invited *it* to dinner.

Yes.

IT.

Don't get me wrong, "It" isn't a bad.... "Thing". However, to me 'it' is akin to a parasite, draining away my patience, sanity and intelligence while also increasing my temper, blood pressure and stress levels.

Saying that 'it' and I get along great is like saying that an elephant is larger than the moon. Oh wait, it's true.

... Well, it's been nice knowing you guys. I've had an okay life so far.

I don't really care what happens to my stuff, but I'd like to be buried with my Pikachu plushy.

If I survive tonight, I'll make sure to tell what happened. And how many white hairs I've managed to accumulate.

To end my post on a positive note:

Push button, recieve bacon.

... Wow. Lately my posts have become more and more... morbid.

This won't help my current depressed state.

Last Friday, we began hosting an exchange student until this coming Friday. Her name here is Ashley, and she's going to be in St Caths next year as a Year 12.

.... And she is DRIVING ME INSANE.

She is extremely whiny, girly, talkative... And the worst part is, she won't leave me alone.

To explain myself further:

-Whiny: Whenever she asks something and doesn't get the answer she wants, she relentlessly keeps asking. Honestly, asking me for the 34th time whether I'd like to go to the movies or not will not make me change my mind. The answer is still NO.

-Girly: She was asking me for details about this dude she saw in church. Who is 24.
Things wrong in this picture:
-I have absolutely no interest in things like this.
-I know who the guy is because he's an altar server like myself.
-There's an 8 year old difference.
-Just... ick.

-Talkative: 'Nuff said.

Also, she scares the crap out of me. On Saturday, she said that she "Loves" me. I'd like to commence shuddering and throwing up now.

She is giving me so much stress that I have both homicidal and suicidal thoughts running through my head now.

On another note, presents I recieved this year:
-A Stuffed dog
-A teddy bear
-The stationary stuff I got from Fua
-... Earrings
-A box of Favourites
-A... Tic-tac-toe.... thing
What in hell do I do with the Tic tac toe thing? I told the person to either give me something suited to males or nothing at all. Next year or so, expect this on TradeMe.

Also, by late Jan/early Feb, we are no longer the owners of Morning Glory. Visit the shop before then for our last discount and such.

I'm leaving to the South Island on the 31st of December.

... No, it's not for good. I'm staying there for about 4-5 days there.

Plans for the future in St Caths:
-Dress like a Pirate in year 11 for Mufti Day.
-Dress like a Ninja in year 12 for Mufti Day.
-Dress like a Pirate Ninja in year 13 for Mufti Day.
-Celebrate International Talk like a Pirate Day on September 19.

<The damn picture isn't uploading here.>
Next to my compose thing is the Ads by Google Bar.
The first ad there is:
"Are you EMO? Hang with us"

What. The. Crap.

Today at Prizegiving:
... I really don't know. One side of me is ashamed at the fact that my parents wasted their time when they already had an appointment to see that I didn't even earn anything. The other side of me feels... relieved for some reason. I don't know why. I just feel relieved and indifferent at the same time. What I mean is, what's the point of getting a certificate? It's just a piece of card paper that makes people feel special. What about those people who don't have a certificate? Aren't they just as special?

Little children:
... Is it wrong to have homicidal thoughts? Because I've had many, many thoughts of taking out a gun and threatening them to shut up. For example, today while I waited for my bus to come (Which, incidentally arrived 45 minutes late) I had to keep listening to a little kid keep talking/sceaming, where I grew more and more irritated by the second. My brain was already imagining that I either had volume control or a blowdart with a tranquilising dart in it. I know that's horrible, but...

I think there's something wrong with me. DX

People in general:
I have noticed that I am beginning to really dispise people. Just today I recieved a random email which went like this:
-------------------
LOL LOL LOL
r u azn?

i am.

lol
jk

azns r gai
------------------
Several suggestions to the above comment to make it look less retarded.
- Learn how to SPELL ENGLISH. I have seen 9 year olds spell better than you.
- Writing LOL LOL LOL as a title instantly makes it retarded, because it looks like you've broken the Caps Lock key.
- Stop being a racist prick. I hate to say it (well, actually, I do), but the world doesn't revolve around you. Therefore, others don't share the same opinon.
- ... Seriously, learn how to SPELL. I cannot stress this enough. Writing 'asian' instead of 'azn' will not kill you, nor will it take much time.

'Nuff said. I hate people, but have exceptions, such as the matter of friends and family.

Buses:
Three words which sums it up for me: I HATE BUSES.
I have been late more than once just because the bus was late. I once spent one and a half hours waiting for a bus. It never came. I ended up waiting about one more hour until I managed to catch my parents driving home from work.

Music:
I hate Snow Patrol and Eskimo Joe. I don't care what anyone says, they piss me off.

Allergies:
The itch in my eye is very, very, itchy and annoying at the same time. For some reason I want to wear an eyepatch over the eye that itches most, get out a fake hook and say "ARR!"
o_< ?  <-- This is a pirate and a hook. Leave me alone. T_T

Current mood:
I feel extremely moody today. I don't know why, but I just feel.. insignificant and depressed.

... Well, I've filled up my rant quota for the day. I need to work on the debate.

"Success - Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams." - Despair.com

.. And no, I'm serious this time.

I truly do need a mop at the moment. And some Panadol wouldn't hurt either.

You see, what happened is that, in short, an innocent little cup managed to make about 1 and a half hours of work.

The problem, I suppose, is the fact that the tap in the office... type thing in the shop is broken, so the tap is constantly flowing at an alarming pace. The cup acted like a plug and the sink overflowed.

About an hour or so after this happened, a nice dude managed to tell me that there's water on the floor.

Seriously people, if you see something like that, it would be nice if you told the shop owner. They might not have been aware of the situation.

I have managed to clean up most of the water (Thank God) with the help of some old rags I found.

Damage check:

- The computer seems to be working fine (Which is good)
- The phone has been affected by water and is currently not in use at the moment
- I have a sore back (:<)

... And tomorrow, Lisa and Kruti is most likely going to be pissed that I couldn't go to the 24 hour letter-writing thing.

You know what? Screw the mop. A sharp, pointy thing will do.