3 posts tagged “brainfart lulz”

Woman: "Well, yesterday, I bought this vest off your husband, but it <Something something. I can't remember the rest.>

Me: "...."

Husband?!

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT

Let me expand on this.

This morning a middle-aged woman came to the shop asking for a refund for a 'safety vest' thing that she bought. I think she was complaining about the size or something. I nodded silently and gave her the refund.

The ramifications of said statement is going to give me more nightmares than the baby incidents and even IT put together.

I mean... come on!

How old do these idiots think I am, anyway?!

I'd say more about this, but... but... it's just... just... Ugh! Buah! G-g-gha... Eurgh!

I can't even type what the hell I'm feeling here. Squick sums it up quite well.

... Dear God, I can already see the ensuing therapy sessions.

So. After Armageddon (which was totally awesome, if not for the fact that I spent like $200 there :<), I found that I was to start working from Sunday until the Sunday before school starts.

Crap.

Also, today I read a letter I got from Vic Uni. The strange thing was that although my name's written correctly at the front on the inside my name is Lyle (?!). Then, I realised that there was a progress report along with my newsletter, so I took a look-see there.

A little disappointed with French, but otherwise happy. Now then, onto the retail hell (because those who read this willingly are weird sadists and I appear to enjoy ranting).

My work hours are from 9.00am 'til 5.30pm. Slightly longer than a regular school day, so no complaints so far.

Anyway, gripes, gripes... where to start...

First off, there was that obligatory hag woman who assumed that because IM AZN I CANT SPEEK ENGREESH LOLZ and so had to request what she wanted veeeery slooooowly. Naturally, due to this I understood even less, and frustration got the better of her and as a result she left. Hooray for misperceived language barrier!

Then, there were the little shi brats who tried to steal capguns. My dad eventually kicked them out, but paranoia settled in right after that.

... And then, there was that slightly disturbing conversation I had yesterday (Thoughts are in italics):

Old lady: Hi. How are you? :D
Me: Um... Good? ^_^;;
This is... odd. Nothing unusual, though, so I better be nice and smile back.
Old lady: So, how's the baby?
Me: ... O_o
I HAVE A BABY?! WTF?!
Old lady: ...? *Waits for reply*
Me: Er... I beg your pardon? Baby?
HOW OLD DOES SHE THINK I AM, ANYWAY?!
Old lady: ... Wait, you're not that lady I talked to often, are you?
Me: Er... no?

Then, there was a separate incident after that involving my dad this time:
Old man: So, are you the husband of that woman who had that baby?
My Dad: What?
Old man: ... You're not, are you?

... Man, yesterday was all kinds of awkward.

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." - Hannibal Lecter, from The Silence of the Lambs

... Especially since my assignment is due. Today. And it's 1.42 in the morning when I'm typing this.

Ah well. I already knew I lost my mind. This only reaffirms things.