Why am I constantly being ignored?
This time, I'm not joking. I know it sounds childish, but I'm beginning to feel that I am invisible or something.
I've mentioned this, laughingly with my friends, about how our teachers seem to ignore us constantly (One in particular just seems to focus on ignoring me completely). However, it's the same story in my household.
Like my mother, for instance. She seems to have no trouble at all at remembering small things for the homestay students, my older brother and my dad, but she almost always forgets about me.
Basically, things go like this:
Mother: So, there's four people here, right? *Counts everyone but me* Yes, there's four here.
Me: Um... You forgot about me. Again.
Mother: Oh! Right. Sure.
Before my birthday...
Mother: So, Christine, you're turning 14 this year, right?
Me: Actually, I'm 15.
Mother: Right, right. It's in May, right?
Me: March.
I am beginning to feel very.... out of place. As if I don't belong in this family.
I mean, everyone here except me enjoys watching Korean comedies and such. Because I don't understand most of their jokes unless its slapstick or something, I don't watch it. It's not because the shows are stupid, it's only because of the lack of comprehension.
My brother has a distinct advantage in this because he came here when he was 7. I was only 4, and didn't even begin pre-school at the time. The homestay students obviously understand those shows, since they probably watched it before they even came here.
My brother has also developed a huge interest in Korean music. I'm still only interested in Japanese ones, and let's just say my folks here ain't fond of the music.
I only just learned about my mother's past less than a week ago, and it looked like my brother already knew about it. What, doesn't she even trust me anymore?
.... Of course, the parents never forget about me if I make a mistake or do something wrong. Shows how much they care, right?
.... Bah, I just want to get that out of my chest. By tomorrow, I would
have bottled this up back inside, and put on my "Happy mask". I still
have yet to perfect it, since my cynicism and anger always seems to
show through.
... And I just realised how depressed I sound. Maybe I really should go to a psychiatrist or counsellor.
In an attempt to make this post sound less emo-like, here's a funny youtube video:
"Despair: it's always darkest just before it goes pitch-black." - Despair.com
Comments
Don't worry though, we haven't forgotten about you |;-]