The (Non-existant) adventures of working in retail.

So it's the holidays, and the first thing I do on the weekend is work.

What a great way to start.

Working in retail has jaded my outlook on the very essence of humanity itself, yet thanks to it I've had time to reflect on my personal philosophy, moral issues and, to a lesser extent, improved my writing skills.

Anyway, that's not why I decided to post.

Partly the reason is that I haven't updated in a month or so, but...

.... Crap, let's just get on with this.

Around noon, a figure entered the store. It was a woman, appearing to be middle aged. She was of average stature and had an unkempt appearance. She wore a hood, and had smelled like paint.

All in all, she did not look like a pleasant woman.

She asked if she could use the phone for some reason or another. I didn't really listen, nor did I remotely care.

Politely, I replied that I could not allow it, as I am merely an employee. I certainly wasn't the one paying the phone bill, and I knew that the manager would have done the same thing.

She pretended not to listen in reply. With a bemused expression, she intelligently replied, "What?"

I repeated myself several times. Slowly and loudly.

She merely stood as she was, staring blankly and smiling disarmingly. Then she repeated her request to use the phone.

I shook my head and explained, yet again, that I was an employee and I had no power over using the phone.

She continued to stand, then began to rub her stomach, as if pregnant. This woman, I felt, was not going to leave until she used the damn phone.

Then, after a moment of silence, she muttered, "I could've used the phone by now."

She then repeated that statement more loudly so that I would hear her.

Slightly more irritated, I replied that I was unable to fulfill her request.

Looking more angrily, she said that she was pregnant and wanted to call her "Mum" to pick her up. Again, she repeated "I could've used the phone by now."

I sighed. "Is this phone call local?"

"It's a normal call. Just let me use the F**king phone."

I passed her the phone. Shooting me a slightly dirty look, she called.

She talked for less than a minute, then hung up with the same disarming smile she had before and thanked me.

She then stood as she was, and did not leave.

Feeling more and more nervous by the second, I asked if she needed anything else.

She extended her arm and shook my hand, then left.

I now have the urge to disinfect my hand. Repeatedly.

I am not getting paid enough to handle this crap.